I gym at Virgin Active Glenvista – an excellent gym. Modern and clean, with everything you need. The staff is fantastic, helpful and friendly (rarities in South-Africa).
We have some very interesting characters:
The I’m sexy and I know it type:
Omies in shorts with huge pense: They strut around in tight lycra clothing (I was once subjected to a yellow lycra one piece) with the confidence of a Ryk Neethling lookalike. They simply amaze me because they belong to a dying breed of human who doesn’t care what other people think.
The check-out-my-guns type.
These laaities gym spesifically in help my sterk lyk hempies to show off their arms. They are usually spotted in the weight section, lifting and checking themselves out in the mirrors. They also belong in the strutting section, since they love to walk around and look awesome.
Lance Armstrong wannabees:
Cycling each day in their tight shorts (for which I thank them)
The delusional type;
I honestly admire anyone that has the courage to exercises in a public place, no matter your size. Getting there is already such an accomplishment. The small faction that annoys me most is the ladies who are at least 80 kilo’s overweight, and has the audacity to judge other people on their weight. (I overheard a 150kg lady saying another girl is fat – bit rich, eh?)
Making everyone else look bad, at gym everyday, losing weight like it is easy. I admire you so much.
Secret nudist campers:
Thanks for walking around the bathroom without a stitch clothing on – I really wanted to see everything about you. Inject severe sarcasm.
The gym is a social experience.
For all the ladies who spends 50 minutes in conversation and 10 minutes on the treadmill and calls it a day. Excruciating workout?
The gym is there to find a date:
The ladies with more make-up on than a Revlon spokesperson, and shorts so short it can be found in the underwear section. If guys really falls for that, they really are stupid.
The normal folks (to which I hope I can claim myself)
Going to gym, and really exercising (and sweating to prove it). That is what gym is for, ladies and gentlemen.
Bit of translation if you don’t understand Afrikaans:
Omies: Originally oom – uncle. We call everyone older oom and tannie (uncle and aunt) here.
Pense: plural of stomach.
Help my sterk lyk hempies: Tongue in the cheek reference to tank tops when guys wear them to show off their muscles.
Laaities: young men
Have a good day!