Movie Review: Rock of Ages (2012)

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Oklahoma native Sherrie Christian leaves her hometown for Los Angeles to become a famous singer. It is 1987. Drew Boley, a barback at the Bourbon Room, meets Sherrie as her luggage gets stolen. He tries to help her, but fails, and luckily manages to get her a job at the Bourbon Room as a waitress. The two fall headily in love.

Dennis Dupree, the club’s owner, is trying to find the money to pay the club’s outstanding taxes. He and his assistant, Lonny Barnett, decide to book Stacee Jaxx, a famous rock star, to get their club out of trouble.

On opening night, Dennis learns that the opening act has cancelled its appearance, and Sherrie convinces him to use Drew’s band, Wolfgang van Colt.

Constance Sack, a reporter for the Rolling Stone Magazine, is scheduled to interview Stacee before the show, and they nearly have sex. She leaves, and Drew sees Sherrie helping Stacee tie his pants, believing the worst. He breaks her heart, and after his successful opening gig signs up with Paul Gill, Stacee’s slimy manager. Both Drew and Stacee resign from their jobs at the Bourbon Room, and Dennis is back in financial trouble after Paul takes their earnings for the night.

The Rolling Stone’s article on Stacee reveals that Paul took the Bourbon Room’s earning for the night, and Stacee fires him. Meanwhile Drew is forced to leave his rocker image behind, adopting a humiliating boy-band look to suit the market.

Meanwhile, Paul has lied to Dennis and tells him that Stacee will perform at his club if Z Guyeezz, Drew’s new band, gets to be the opening act. Stacee learns that he is supposed to perform at the club when he calls the Rolling Stone magazine to profess his love for Constance. Sherrie tells Drew that she never slept with Stacee, and is planning to return to her hometown.

At the Bourbon Room, Drew’s band gets booed by the rocker crowd, and he leaves the stage to reconcile with Sherrie when she shows up. Stacee and Constance end up together, and the two managers of the club, Dennis and Lonny, accept their love for each other.

Rating: 5/10

As I blog more, I find that I am much more critical than I used to be. Last year this time I would have loved this frilly movie, scoring it at around 8. However, things (and I) change. The movie was fun, but terribly predicting. The actors didn’t reach their full potential. The superstar cast includes Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mary J. Blige, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, and relative new comers Julianne Hough (Footloose 2) and Diego Boneta (Pretty Little Liars). With so many credentials under this cast’s cloak, it fell sadly flat. The only truly spectacular performance was by Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx.

Questions while watching Tom Cruise:

How can he be 51 years old?

Who did he sell his soul too to remain this good looking and YOUNG?

How come he hasn’t starred in a musical before – because he performed amazingly.

The movie also hosted comedian Russell Brand as Lonny, and as usual his performance was desperate. Man, I just want to dump that man in a bath tub. He needs a scrub more urgently than Robert Pattison. People think he is genuinely funny, but all that makes him funnier is his accent and dirty hair. Eugh.

Diego Boneta performed well, although not as good as he was in PLL. I enjoy watching his face (yeah) so I am looking forward to seeing him in other things. Julianne Hough (most notably dating Ryan Seacrest) performed really well. It is good to see her growing into an accomplished actress.

I would recommend this movie to anyone searching for funny, light hearted musical.

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