Movie Review: Noah (2014)


Noah: Fire consumes all. Water cleanses. It separates the foul from the pure. The wicked from the innocent. And that which sinks from that which rises. He destroys all, but only to start again.

Plot synopsis: A man is chosen by his world’s creator to undertake a momentous mission before an apocalyptic flood cleanses the world. via IMDb

Rating: 6/10

In possibly the worst book adaption of the century, Russell Crowe stars as Noah, the iconic Ark building Biblical character. He is moody, prone to bitching and sulking, and thus I’ve deduced that Crowe merely imitated his own personality for this. Jennifer Connelly and Emma Watson are also in here, and both are fine but it is clearly either’s best work. The shots where all the animals lie sleeping looked awfully fake, and I thought it was simply silly a few times. Anthony Hopkins is some sort of magical elder that cures Emma of her infertility, and I think he is left to drown, and I found that sad because he was so nice and all.


I did like that Noah was portrayed as a human being. He isn’t a saint who never got mad, he was flawed and human and insecure. Noah’s eldest son was fine and I got why Emma had such a thing for him always, but I still felt sorry for the other son who had to leave behind his lady friend, once again to drown.

Basically, the movie is too long, and so different from the original version I don’t know who the target audience was – if not made for believers this movie doesn’t have enough weight to be considered good enough for other audiences. It is too long and too shabbily put together to be really impressive.

7 thoughts on “Movie Review: Noah (2014)

  1. Chemistry Kidney of Poland,

    Great work here. I have still not watched it, and I am not particularly amped to, either. Maybe someday when I run out of things to watch I will look into it. Otherwise I will be skipping for a while. Anyway. There are far more pressing things that I need to get to watching…


    Best Bkushi

    • Bkushi

      There is so many things you should rather be watching than this #HOMELAND and every other movie out there.

      Very meh

      Chemistry Kidney

    • JJB,

      #deadwood !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


      This movie sounds pretty sucky. I’m glad I’ve never paid money for it.


      • Pappy!!!

        homeland first! I need to talk to Bkushi about it and I am spoiler-free!

        It was such a waste of the precious hours of my life.


  2. Pingback: 2014 Movies: Part 2 | Life of this city girl

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