Movie Review: 47 Ronin (2013)

47-ronin-movie-poster-keanu-reeves-00

Plot: A band of samurai set out to avenge the death and dishonor of their master at the hands of a ruthless shogun. (IMDb)

Rating: 4.7/10

What the hell? I was expecting okay, maybe mediocre, but good heavens, this was bad. Japanese women have no acting chops (neither do the men). The two leading ladies did not impress and I couldn’t connect to them, not to the good little princess or the bad witch. The only thing bad about the witch was her acting, I was really unimpressed.

47 Ronin

Keanu Reeves has good movies and then he has movies like this. I wanted firstly to slap his character so that Kai could start standing up for himself, and secondly I wanted to slap Reeves because I know that he has better things up his sleeve than this. The best thing about this was his beard, and that is all.

47 Ronin is based on the actual 47 Ronin men who died to avenge their lord and it could have been such an impressive and gripping story. The story disintegrates before it takes off, the characters are mean to each other and then miraculously band together to fight, the antagonist’s main crime is smirking at the camera, and to top it all off I couldn’t help but wonder why ancient Japanese spoke English. Even after a lengthy discussion with my sister on this I still felt that they could have spoken a bit of Jap, even though we wouldn’t have understood a word about it.

The trailer looked good but that is because they put all the best moments of the film into it, and nothing else was left to carry it through.

ronin-47

Isn’t it sad that this cool makeup was wasted on like 5.3 seconds of showtime?

Basically, I hated it, and I am so happy that I didn’t go to the cinema to watch it. I’m very sure I can shoot a better movie on my phone’s camera at this point.

Recommendation: DON’T

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12 thoughts on “Movie Review: 47 Ronin (2013)

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