Movie Review: Winter’s Tale (2014)

WINTERS-TALE-Movie

Plot: A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her

Rating: 4/10

Well. This seems to be the worst rating I’ve ever assigned to a movie. Ever. I think I rated Grown-Ups 2 higher than this. A Winter’s Tale is NOT as offensive as Adam Sandler’s face, but this movie was so boring that I could crochet nonstop and easily get the gist of the movie. I could probably write a thesis on nuclear physics while watching this – A Winter’s Tale requires no more brain power than picking up a pencil. For a story that first focuses on an epic and pure love and then switches over to modern society to save a child with cancer, it lacked so much heart. The movie might have derailed with the introduction of a white flying horse, but might have been the second Russel Crowe was cast as a demon.

I’ve never in my life seen Crowe in such a bad role. He was atrocious. If that is his way of being a supernatural character he needs to steer clear, eternally. The actors seemed exhausted and bored by the monotony of the film and the ridiculous dialogue. I hope Jessica Brown Findlay thoroughly remorse her decision to leave Downton Abbey – you left them to star in this?!

It was nice to see Colin Farrell in something again – didn’t he venture into the whole “I achieved success and now I will be a drug addict” route? Anyway, I used to think he was quite hot. With the haircut he wears in here as Peter Lake, he looks like a grown man with an emo child haircut. His acting wasn’t that bad – he did the best he could in his main role with the dialogue he had. There was genuine chemistry between him and Findlay and if you completely ignore the dialogue passing between them, it would have been really nice.

I’ve mentioned Crowe as the leading villain, but this also had Will Smith as Lucifer. Is WS busy trying to get into some fantasy? I see he is definitely dipping his finger into the super popular superhero pie – did you see the trailer of Suicide Squad yet?? It’s cool, I think it will work. Smith was the best thing about the movie and I think if he was cast as the main villain things might have gone better. Crowe had no conviction in his villainy and seemed as this movie was below his true capabilities – it is, but that is beside the point.

Apart from the dialogue, the way the story progressed was confusing. The first part ends so abruptly and the second part is so ineptly introduced that you have no clue what is happening or why you are even seeing it.

Then, can we just discuss how many times Peter Lake was referred to as PETER LAKE? Not Peter, not Lake, nope, the full thing: “PETER LAKE”. Does he only respond to his full name and surname? What a weird guy.

I don’t think this movie ever had a chance. The story is stupid, the cast was confused and the white flying horse was just a bit too much. Really, go buy a Unicorn and be done with it.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Movie Review: Winter’s Tale (2014)

  1. LOOOOOL! Wow, this sounds absolutely freaking awful friend! I went to check other scores online, and it seems you were infinitely kind in the score you gave it!

  2. I’ve only ever read horrendous things about Winter’s Tale. Even the title is overflowing with cheese. No thanks, I’ll save my brain power and try to lift this No. 2 pencil I have sitting over here. . . 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s