Movie Review: Fast Fridays: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

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Plot:Former cop Brian O’Conner is called upon to bust a dangerous criminal and he recruits the help of a former childhood friend and street racer who has a chance to redeem himself.

Rating: 4/10

Okay, wow. 2 Fast 2 Furious is bad. Like, Shitfest bad, Pappy. Of the original cast, only Paul Walker returns for this one, and it was probably the biggest mistake the franchise ever made – not that including Walker was a terrible idea, it was a good one, but completely removing the other cast members? Disastrous.

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It took me three tries to sit through this movie. It seemed like the biggest waste of time the second I got to unconvincing facial expressions and a story that doesn’t fit in with the entire damn franchise. To be honest, neither the cars nor the racing impressed me much in here. The tile offends my grammar, the outfits offends my sense of aesthetics, the plot line does not appeal to my good sense and bloody hell, can someone not have given a few acting lessons?

However, I forced myself to just get it done because I really want to watch everything in the franchise. It didn’t improve in my estimation throughout though. It is as bad in the end as it is in the beginning.

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The acting is painful to watch. Walker is at his worst, Tyrese Gibson is about as convincing as a satsuma pretending to be a carrot – terrible comparison, I know! Devon Aoki as Suki has one important role and that is to be the stupid, prototype Asian girlfriend (and how obsessed is this franchise with Asians?!). Mark Boone Jnr, most notably the scary Bobby in Sons of Anarchy, has a teensy role where he appears wimpy and contributes nothing to the story.

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The best part of this is Eva Mendes. She’s the only one vaguely capable of saying her lines without looking really stupid about it. However, she’s an FBI agent who waits on an ex-cop to save her ass, and that was really hard to get over.

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So much lameness and cheese ensues. I honestly don’t know what these guys were doing. It was ridiculous. I was not really sure most of the time what was happening, who were the villains, why on earth the story was in the franchise and what the hell Paul Walker was wearing? I’ll call them acceleration scenes for a lack of a better name, but they looked so improbable and fake. And seriously, showing the speedometer clocking 100km/hour? THAT’S NOT EVEN SPEEDING.

I hope the remaining two before I hit the films I know are good is better – this is horrible, and I think we all deserve better in life.

PS: I thought I would have an aneurism the six hundred and eighty eight time Brian O’Connor said “bro” and tried to walk like a gangster.

#whereIsDominicToretto

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14 thoughts on “Movie Review: Fast Fridays: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

  1. That hashtag xD PRICELESS.

    These reviews are just THE BEST! I might start watching these soon (again), so many Whatsapp conversations to ensue xD

  2. Yah I hate to say it, but another guy here is right: the worst of the lot is by far Tokyo Drift. I can’t even finish that one.

    #freeDomToretto #satsumasaregreatandjuicy #fuckcarrots

  3. It’s surprising that the franchise survived after this movie. The third isn’t too bad and the fourth is a reset to be fair.

  4. Great review! I gotta agree with others here that Tokyo Drift is the weakest link and was like the American rehash of Initial D and like a cheap version of it (at least to me). This one isn’t a whole lot better but it does have a purpose to it as to introducing characters that pop up for the heist in Fast Five. Although we now see why Tokyo Drift was important as well, I guess.

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