Movie Review: Tomb Raider (2018)

Plot: Lara Croft, the fiercely independent daughter of a missing adventurer, must push herself beyond her limits when she finds herself on the island where her father disappeared.

I’m trying to start this review with some really sharp comment, something more verbose than “This is a poor, poor film”. As I can’t come up with something quite yet, you can take that as a start to this review and take it to heart. The remake crazy continues because apparently originality has been slaughtered. What sacred franchise hasn’t been touched? So unnecessary, yet movie houses are desperate to cash in on that nostalgic feeling, yet somehow still too lazy to develop proper scripts.

Tomb Raider is no different. Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Alastair Siddons and Evan Daugherty thinks their movie watchers are remarkably stupid (judging by my fellow audience members, they weren’t all that wrong). Visual and verbal clues are everywhere. Lara is forced to verbalize all her thoughts, because the audience couldn’t pick it up for themselves apparently. Clues are left everywhere – such as “Watch me” on the obviously placed video camera her dad left in his den. I also happen to think Lara isn’t nearly as bright as we must believe. She refuses to access her father’s fortune before she sets off to the island she is supposed to stay away from, yet sells her most valued possession to access to embark upon her mission. She travels with a drunken Chinese sailor (Daniel Wu) in a broken down boat because logic. They are both immediately captured when they wash out on the coast by madman fanatic Matthias Vogel (Walton Goggins). He at least provides a legitimate face to the devious company setting out to disrupt the world. Things naturally escalate and with many improbable events that would certainly have caused death to any normal person, there is a final explosion and escalation and a setup for an additional film.

I, quite obviously, didn’t like it. It was agony and I was itching to just walk out of cinema. It even seemed like that new Pacific Rim film, which looks like a Michael Bay extravaganza (though not directed by him at all), would have been a better choice. I do admire Alicia Vikander – she’s ripped for this role and performs admirably in the various obstacles set out for her, but she’s actually just way too talented to have to suffer through such substandard writing.

Although the film had some merits, I will most certainly not think back fondly or attempt to watch a second installment, which is bound to happen as the film is doing surprisingly okay in the markets.

Rating: 5/10

April 11, 2018April 11, 2018 by Natasha Categories: 2018, Movies, movies, Review, ReviewsTags: 2018, action, adventure, Alastair Siddons, Daniel Wu, Dominic West, Evan Daugherty, Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Lara Croft, Movies, Reviews, Tomb Raider, Walton Goggins 4 Comments

Movie Review: Black Panther (2018)

Plot: T’Challa, the King of Wakanda, rises to the throne in the isolated, technologically advanced African nation, but his claim is challenged by a vengeful outsider who was a childhood victim of T’Challa’s father’s mistake.

I remember sitting down to watch Wonder Woman last year – the nerves and anticipation and hope that a film about my kind finally being a superhero would be great. How fantastic was the notion that someone like me could change the world? How empowering it was! As I watched Diana Prince ignore male orders and march onto a battlefield because her heart dictated her to,  and I finally felt vindicated for having my own share of protectiveness towards those I hold dear.

And finally, in 2018, we have come to a place where black people can finally celebrate the same feat. Black Panther is fantastic. I am not black, but I am South-African, and sitting in the cinema with black people and feeling their joy with this film was uplifting and very emotional. T’Challa isn’t a sidekick, he isn’t the bad guy, he is a man of royal blood. He doesn’t have to find his riches, he is rich. Wakanda is, as some have rightly said, both a view of how Africa might have been without colonialism and a celebration of retaining your culture will thriving in a modern technological world. Black Panther does not skirt around issues, it faces it head on. Slavery and the destruction of a continent is frequently referenced, as well as the deeply moral question of why Wakanda did not intervene to help their neighbors when they had unlimited power to do so. Well, to me Wakanda had the correct intuition, and I can only wish the entire continent could have seen the danger and protected itself against pillaging.

Chadwick Boseman is an exceptional Black Panther. T’Challa is a good mix of culture, regal blood, love, humor, wisdom, kindness and some fantastic fighting skills. He was born to be King, and his nature dictates him to be a kind and just one for his people. Other tribe leaders, especially W’Kabi (Daniel Kaluuya’s, in wonderful South-African traditional clothes), Mbaku (Winston Duke) have issues with some of his choices, and this especially creates discord between W’Kabi and T’Challa when T’Challa fails to bring Klaue (truly excellent Andy Serkis) to Wakanda to account for his crimes against the Wakandan people.

Michael B. Jordan impressed me immensely. I haven’t seen too much from him, and I really did not know how excellent an actor he is. As Erik Stevens the warmonger and the thorn in T’Challa’s side, he is both heart breaking and terrifying. He would have been like T’Challa if a great crime hadn’t been committed against him, and his crimes are heinous enough to have you wince but his memories are painful enough to make you weep for him. He was a strong villain, perhaps one of the stronger ones in Marvel, and I really enjoyed him.

There is a lot of humor too, especially delivered by Shuri (Letitia Wight). The movie has genuinely funny moments and the audience was in stitches as it found its crowd. Even Mbaku has some funny moments, and his humor mixes surprisingly well with his warrior attitude.

It would be very unfair to not mention the outstanding female cast as well. Lupita Nyong’o and Danai Gurira are fierce female warriors, sworn to protect Wakanda. They have great moments together, and their chase through South Korea is especially fine to watch. Shuri is a smart and sassy young woman, and she is a technological spearhead for Wakanda, highlighting the importance of girls in technology in style. Angela Basset as the Queen Mother is regal and beautiful, and her care for her children and nation are evident to see.

South Africa had a phenomenal week last week. The fall of the Gupta empire and Jacob Zuma, the rise of Cyril Ramaphosa and the first SONA in years that didn’t result in a screaming match made South-Africans happier than I’ve seen them in a decade. The optimism in the streets could only be even more enhanced by seeing South-African faces in this film, South-African traditional wear and Xhosa being used as the Wakandan language.

I was worried that Black Panther wouldn’t be good – I really wanted it to be, if only to prove to the butthead racists on the internet that inclusion is necessary and can yield as good results as the standard white washed, male domineered films we generally get. Black Panther is GREAT, and is an excellent start to the superhero year. The cast and director and Marvel should all be congratulated for their excellent work in this film – it is something to be proud of!

Rating: 8.5/10

February 21, 2018February 21, 2018 by Natasha Categories: 2018, Avengers, Movies, movies, Review, Reviews, UncategorizedTags: 2018, action, Andy Serkis, Angela Basset, Atandwa Kani, Black Panther, Chadwick Boseman, Comics, Danai Gurira, Daniel Kaluuya, Forest Whitaker, John Kani, Letitia Wright, Lupita Nyong'o, Martin Freeman, marvel, MCU, Michael B. Jordan, Michael Jordan, Movies, Reviews, Sterling K. Brown, superheroes, Wakanda, Winston Duke 11 Comments

Movie Review: The Maze Runner: Death Cure (2018)

Plot: Young hero Thomas embarks on a mission to find a cure for a deadly disease known as the “Flare”.

Contains minor spoilers

I have experienced a rather good start to the year with new releases. I am still not over the wonderful The Greatest Showman (2018), and I am still listening to its’ soundtrack every single day. I can’t wait to purchase the DVD and show it to everyone I know, so that they too can be as happy as I. It also provided a pitfall for The Death Cure – could anything impress me after I was so ridiculously happy?

Well, The Death Cure didn’t make me as happy (two tonally different films as there ever was), but it did entertain me. The opening sequence, the lead culprit in the massive time delay of the film when Dylan O’Brien was seriously injured on set, is exciting and intense. I also really appreciate a film where the main characters can actually shoot and is not just randomly shooting into thin air – all the actors can be applauded for holding a gun in a manner that shows they’ve had some training.

The relationship between Thomas (O’Brien) and Newt (Thomas Brodie-Sangster), is still as tight as ever. They are in this together, and the two actors themselves share a great chemistry on set. I like Newt, he’s such a sarcastic character full of pithy remarks. I still absolutely loathe Theresa – who doesn’t, and even her final attempts at redemption couldn’t convince me to find actual time for her. He doesn’t deserve Thomas or his compassion, and I completed related to my fellow movie goer when he passionately yelled “Can this bitch just die?!” in cinema – although good sir, do not refer to women as bitches, please.

I will perhaps always hate Aiden Gillen (perhaps unfairly). He also plays a devious bastard in The Death Cure, and this does not help him in terms of affection. He is able to play a weak man really well. He meets his fate in The Death Cure in a much more brutal and enjoyable fashion than in Game of Thrones.

The film has a solid progression, and although it did start to feel long I wasn’t terrible irritated by that. There was a stage at about halfway through the film where I wondered how on earth they were planning to wrap things up in the time they had left, but they managed.

Granted that I really didn’t like the second one (I am still not sure what went on there), this film turned out remarkably well. The Death Cure is not perfect – I felt that half of the female stars had no acting power, and they are, as always, very underrepresented. I always enjoy a dystopian setting that turns out to be some clinical trial drama – that is essentially what Divergent and The Maze Runner boils down to – what ethical values are governments willing to forsake of their people when faced with a massive viral disaster? This is my food man. However, it should be noted that the rights of a patient will never be compromised for the advancement of science, thank you very much.

Overall, The Death Cure did just fine as my second film for this year. That guy with the hollowed out cheeks and funky attitude was proper badass and had an epic moment or two. Eyebrows returning – he looks like he waxed his eyebrows, and I still think it must be a challenged to be permanently surprised. I’ve never read these books, so I can’t compare it to the source material, but as a dystopian film it works well and rounds of the series just fine.

Rating: 7/10

February 1, 2018 by Natasha Categories: 2018, Movies, movies, Review, Reviews, UncategorizedTags: 2018, action, Aiden Gillen, Dylan O’Brien, dystopia, Dystopian Fiction, Giancarlo Esposito, Kaya Scodelario, Ki Hong Lee, Movies, Patricia Clarkson, Reviews, Rosa Salazar, The Death Cure, The Flare, The Maze Runner: Death Cure, Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Walton Goggins, Will Poulter 3 Comments

Blindspot 2017: The Italian Job (2003)

Plot: After being betrayed and left for dead in Italy, Charlie Croker and his team plan an elaborate gold heist against their former ally.

This month is running the risk of churning out very little blog posts. That’s okay. I’d rather post when I’m in the mood versus loading crap because I have some demented sense of responsibility. I sat down to get through this Blindspot entry after my emotional breakdown finishing Spartacus. I can’t even contemplate reviewing it yet, I go into a hulk smash mode whenever I think of it – just ask Zoë. So I am not committing to watching another show right now. I can’t deal with having my heart ripped out of my chest a second time.

So on to The Italian Job – it was quite okay if a bit forgettable. Mark Whalberg pretends he can act and we let him think he can. Seriously, I’ve always thought of him as Second-Tier Matt Damon. Then Donald Sutherland – what’s the word on him out there? He seems to have been 76 for 76 years; I can neither contemplate him as younger or older than he always seems to be. I’m also not really onboard with saying he’s a fantastic actor – age is not an indicator of talent. President Snow is a top tier thief in The Italian Job, recently on the run from his parole officer, when he meets up again with Charlie (Whalberg), and a Fast and the Furiousesquetype of team of thieves. There’s Jason Statham as Handsome Rob (don’t get why people think he’s handsome – he’s short, angry, and can’t act), then two other guys. Or three other guys. Not sure. They are all introduced in a typical fashion, with flashbacks and quips. Some of the dialogue is quite off, the humor doesn’t always hit the right spot, and it is very easy to forecast the resolution of this film. Homegirl Charlize Theron is the best with acting in the bunch working to find her father’s killer, and she made the movie okay for me. She’s a smart sort in this film, making sure the skills she learned from her nefarious father is turned into a legal and thriving enterprise. Also – really blonde and pretty and completely devoid of her South-African accent.

It seems like an Ocean’s Eleven, without the extreme charm of George Clooney and Brad Pitt to carry it when needs be. The acting and storyline isn’t as solid as it should be either. They rely heavily on the use of Mini Coopers to provide flash, and I guess when the car manufacturer launched again back in 2003 it was a big deal. But shoot me – I don’t see a man driving a mini as significantly manly. The car is so tiny – if you want to rob things just use a big vehicle.

The Italian job a decent enough heist/thief movie, with the characters as always trying to show you how nice thieves really are. Did I miss the part where the name of the movie links to the content of the movie? Or is it merely because their job in Rome resulted in the death of one of their team members? I can’t really tell, so let me know if you know.

I’ve had such a fantastic list in 2017 so The Italian Job isn’t near to the best I’ve seen, but it is quite enjoyable all the same. You don’t need to think too hard about it, so it was really quite okay to watch with my broken Spartacus and Gannicus’d heart.

Rating: 7/10

December 7, 2017December 7, 2017 by Natasha Categories: Blindspot, Movies, movies, Review, ReviewsTags: action, Blindspot, Blindspot 2017, Car, Charlize Theron, Donald Sutherland, Edward Norton, Frankie G, Heist, Jason Statham, Mark Whalberg, Mini Cooper, Mos Def, Movies, Seth Green 8 Comments

Movie Review: The Accountant (2016)

Plot: As a math savant uncooks the books for a new client, the Treasury Department closes in on his activities and the body count starts to rise.

Rating: 7/10

What I’ll say off the bat is this: Of the two films that released in 2016 casting Affleck as a lead, The Accountant is infinitely superior to Batman Vs. Superman. Everyone, including Affleck apparently, is ready to forget all about that blunder. Ben Affleck is something of an anomaly to me. He is A-list, very famous and considered incredibly successful, and for the life of me I have no idea why. He’s a decent actor, but where does this level of fame come from? I really liked Gone Girl but that is pretty much the only film I can pin on him that went really well. In The Accountant he proves that he is worth his paycheck and works hard to give a credible portrayal as an autistic accountant. What bothered me is that his face is so tightly controlled at times it looks like he has toothache. Apart from that, I liked the character. He is meticulous and well programmed and highly functional, yet there are times when the empathy with his lonely life becomes overpowering.

I particularly enjoyed Jon Bernthal. He seems to excel when he is playing someone cocky and arrogant, and he looks to be enjoying himself quite a lot.

Anna Kendrick did a fine job of not being a pain in the ass. I’m still flabbergasted by her current success. It is not that I think she’s a poor actress, I just never expected her to keep going from Twilight. She is also consistently cast in the same role and that becomes tiring quickly. Dana wasn’t her typical role and it is clear that when she is given a chance, she takes it and works hard to do well. Can I just say a quick thanks here that the character at least attempted to defend herself and didn’t just curl into a ball and cry about her problems? Whoever had the balls to write a woman who would defend herself, thank you.

JK Simmons. All I see when I see this guy is Whiplash. It was good to watch him as a friendlier, saner man. Despite the excellent acting I failed to see the reason to include the treasury department in The Accountant. They served only as narrators and poor ones at that.

The story has a very interesting premise. An interesting premise is null and void if there is no proper execution though. I was not surprised by the big aha moment in the film. If you paid attention from the start any person who has watched movies previously would have caught that. The different parts of the story failed to properly mesh – Chris has to solve who is taking out a hit on him and Dana, the mysterious man who is appearing and killing shady characters, and the Treasury department director trying to find Chris for some unclear reason. I truly think the Treasury department was only included to be the vocal part of who Chris is, because they lacked any other driving force for the film.

That stupid ending. It was nice to see what Chris did with his money and that there was a great well of caring under the tightly controlled exterior. The rest felt so rushed. It was as if the director suddenly decided they had had enough and just wanted it finished in one scene.

 

February 6, 2017February 3, 2017 by Natasha Categories: 2016, Movies, movies, Review, Reviews, UncategorizedTags: 2016, action, Anna Kendrick, Autism, Ben Affleck, films, JK Simmons, Jon Bernthal, Movies, Reviews, The Accountant 7 Comments

Movie Review: The Man from U.N.C.L.E

Plot: In the early 1960s, CIA agent Napoleon Solo and KGB operative Illya Kuryakin participate in a joint mission against a mysterious criminal organization, which is working to proliferate nuclear weapons

Rating: 8/10

Things I liked:

The Score

Let’s start out with the score – it was absurdly fantastic. It was a compelling mix of weird Russian/USSR songs and 1960’s style songs perfectly supplemented the action.

The Fashion

So much love. The Twiggy style fashion worked to perfection and Vikander’s beehive made me want to do it myself (I fortunately restrained myself). I love that time period fashion!

I really wish men could wear suits all the time. I really appreciate a good man in a good suit, and especially these old fashioned suits just work. Such class.

Directing& Storyline

Guy Richie is a master. I love the split screens and the way action was choreographed, as well as the rich tone that the film had. The story itself was fun. It is well thought out, clearly developed and mixes humor and action very well. The little plot twist had me fuming –that bitch! – then forgiving her and going back to admiration. It gets so preposterous at times – two highly trained secret agents bitching about which outfits their female counterpart should wear, Solo having a little drink and snack while the whole world is crashing down around him and the constant competition between the Allies.

Casting:

This brings the movies I’ve seen with Alicia Vikander in up to two and I am impressed here as I was in Ex Machina. She’s a very good and talented woman, as well as incredibly beautiful, and she held up very well against Hammer and Cavil.

I’ll do a whole other post about how delicious the men were in this movie, but let’s just say here that if Armie Hammer walks up to me and speaks in that Russian accent I will jump his bones after the fainting that was a direct result of his sexiness. OMFG.

I really did enjoy him also on a non-pervy level, he is talented and I found the character layered and hilarious. The way his temper was just waiting to boil out and take people down with it was something I found very amusing.

Henry Cavil. Sigh. This cast was purely chosen on the genetic lottery, because this man – how can he be so perfect? Did they copy and paste his genetic sequence specifically for “Chiselled Chin”, “Dreamy Eyes”, “Perfect Mouth”, “Perfect Build” and “General Breath Taking Beauty”? I’m sure they did, I’m sure they did.

Solo was also a really fun character, so full of debauchery and completely fine with it. No doubt about it, Solo is an extremely talented criminal that is using his talents currently to keep him out of jail – so respectable.

Hugh Grant comes in, classes things up because he is British, adds another amount of hilarity and plot twists, heads out again, just to return later. I haven’t seen him in anything for a while, and it was nice to spot him.

Elizabeth Debicki was a fantastic villain. I am happy that they chose a woman to be the villain, and how cold she was. So cool.

Conclusion:

The Man from U.N.C.L.E is very enjoyable to watch. It has great laughs, some surprising touching moments and good performances by the entire cast, but especial note to Cavil, Vikander and Hammel. Cavil’s performance is especially important – the man needs to show he can be more than Superman if he wants a career after his run as the Kryptonite-intolerant superhero. Definitely recommended and a really good addition to the 2015 repertoire of movies.

November 17, 2015November 15, 2015 by Natasha Categories: 2015, Movies, ReviewsTags: 1960s, 2015, action, Alicia Vikander, Armie Hammer, Elizabeth Debicki, Henry Cavil, Hugh Grant, Movies, Nazi, Reviews, Spy, Spy Film, The Man from U.N.C.L.E 15 Comments

Movie Review: John Wick (2014)

Plot: An ex-hitman comes out of retirement to track down the gangsters that took everything from him

Rating: 8/10

I’ve been on such a Keanu Reeves roll lately (Zoë and I were having way too much cheesy fun on my visit to her! :D) He’s not a bad actor but unfortunately he has things like 47 Ronin under his belt, which might just be the worst movie I have ever had the misfortune to meet (a lofty praise). John Wick is in the attributes column for Reeves. It is way too much fun and never stops with the cheese. That is a good thing, because the cast is rolling with it and never tries to pass it off as a serious mob movie. I was so furious when that incredibly cute dog was killed by Theon fucking Greyjoy, reminding me why I don’t even feel sympathy for Reek. I wanted to climb through the screen and get my revenge for Robb Stark and for tiny little Daisy – I mean, let’s face it: The only rule in movies that should never be crossed is the one where you DON’T KILL THE DOG. EVER. I was not even surprised that he reacted the way he did – the only thing that made the loss of his life more bearable was that puppy and when he lost it too, he lost his shit – unfortunately for the punks who committed the heinous crime, John Wick was versed in the art of kicking ass and didn’t need just angrily yell into space like the rest of us would have to do. John Wick had such a reputation and I thoroughly enjoyed the respect everyone threw his way and the way they deferred to him and refused to get into a fight. The action scenes were wonderfully choreographed and looked well – big ups to the constant reloading of guns – it drives me insane in other action bullets where they get eighteen shots out of a 6 bullet gun. The movie also looks really good – the way they implement colour into scenes and the beautiful camera work – sheesh, it looked great. I also have to reiterate my point that if men in this world had any inclination how women reacted to good suits they would wear them all the time. (thanks, Keanu). John Wick is such a great amount of fun and shouldn’t be taken too seriously because storywise it isn’t as intricate as people would want. However, it looks really good and if you are the type of person who appreciates the fact that a man went on a mission to avenge his dog, you are going to love this.

October 26, 2015October 24, 2015 by Natasha Categories: 2014, Movies, ReviewsTags: action, Adrienne Palicki, Alfie Allen, awesome, John Wick, Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, Movies, Reviews 6 Comments

Just what is this Macho Movie doing on my blog?! The Expendables III (2014)

Plot: Barney augments his team with new blood for a personal battle: to take down Conrad Stonebanks, the Expendables co-founder and notorious arms trader who is hell bent on wiping out Barney and every single one of his associates.

Rating: 5.5/10

So, I made it to the final one. Watching the Expendables has been consistent – consistently bad. The second one was the best because it had so much cheesy in it. I actually really enjoyed Expendables 2. It was hilariously cheesy and I can watch that again.

E3 has a bigger cast and bigger explosions but not a bigger heart. The younger cast wasn’t implemented correctly and it is a really bad day when Kellan Lutz has to be mentioned as the best performance of new cast members. He was actually much better than I expected.

Harrison Ford replaces Bruce Willis as the intelligence agent. He looks so painfully old. It makes me uncomfortable to face this stark reminder that even the greatest action stars aren’t immune against time.

The biggest thing in this movie was the music score. Why did they suddenly choose rap music? WHAT?

Then there are Sylvester’s outfits when he runs around with Kelsey Grammar playing rent a sniper. He just looked like a pimp. What?

That girl. Really, what was the idea? Her acting was so bad I couldn’t celebrate the existence of a female Expendable.

Antonio Banderas as the village idiot: WHAT? So bad and so annoying.

Just, WHAT?

July 13, 2015July 12, 2015 by Natasha Categories: Movies, ReviewTags: action, Action Movies, Antonio Banderas, Arnold Swazzernegger, Dolph Lundgrun, Harrison Ford, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Kellan Lutz, Kelsey Grammar, Mel Gibson, Movies, Randy Couture, Review, Ronda Rousey, Sylvester Stallone, Terry Crews, The Expendables, The Expendables III, Wesley Snipes 6 Comments

Just What is this Macho Movie doing on my Blog?! The Expendables II (2012)

Plot: Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.

Rating: 6.5/10

The Expendables 2 is this little gift of hilarity that fell straight down from heaven. It is ten times better than the first one.

I really do like Sylvester Stallone. He seems to be a really hardworking and mostly nice guy, he’s been married for a very long time to one lady and he is a living legend who likes to do his stunts on his own (that explains the painful running scenes). I think it’s quite cool that he did a project like this – these old action figures are legends that deserve the same amount of respect and admiration as old rockstars do. It’s a bit creepy, but I really enjoy looking at Sly, especially with that hat on. I think I should go see a psychologist about it though – he’s OLD.

The Expendables 2 gifts us with seeing Stallone, Willis, Arnie, Van Damme AND Chuck Norris all in one film. I mean, these are the gods of Action. It is also the movie where artificial faces make its case study to be accepted into society – Stallone loses the competition where Arnie and Van Damme were his opponents for extremely odd looks. Van Damme has the weirdest eyes possibly ever and is truly quite terrifying. He seems as hard as nails and that he won’t even feel bad after kicking your ass.

Barney Ross: I’ve heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?
Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

We get us some Chuck Norris, complete with sound track and all. I could eventually not stop giggling when he came on screen, he is too much for me to handle. He enters in his signature way, always saving the day and being totally cool about it.

Where the first Expendables failed, the second film improved. The humour in E2 lets you know they are aware they are being cheesy but they are enjoying themselves while doing it. The humour is once again on an astronomical level and the dialogue makes you once again wonder how many retakes there were because the cast could not stop laughing, but this time around the actors are in on your joke and they are playing along. I heard referencing to the Terminator way too many times, and Chuck’s jokes wereso.friggin.lame.

The action sequences are still as unbelievable as it gets but they are slightly shorter and better executed and that makes it all a better use of your time. I am amused rather than sickened by the killing spree – I don’t think most deaths are quite so theatrical as they would like you to believe.

The memo the feminism squad sent out regarding the blatant sexism in E1 reached the right ears: not only are the women less stereotypical in E2 they also get decent parts with actual dialogue and a purpose. I enjoyed Maggie’s presence and how she actually contributed towards the team’s success, although they might want to look into not immediately having the only female ogled by the entire squad. I also enjoyed the females protecting their town, although I did not appreciate the joking that women can’t shoot.

I don’t know what happened to Mickey Rourke this time around (he was basically the only good thing about the first movie), but they offset the loss by adding someone who is also trained in the art of acting – Liam Hemsworth. I think he has enormous potential that hasn’t been brought to light yet by Hollywood. He and Statham are by far the youngest of the team and Hemsworth has the best acting on the screen – the only actor who gets close enough is Bruce Willis, who really is the coolest guy on the earth. I liked Hemsworth’s role – he is from the recent generation of soldiers who have very fresh scars, and he realises that he needs a healthier lifestyle. He seems respectful and sad – really like I imagine the majority of soldiers. His death is an actual blow and the only real emotional thing in the film, and old Sly’s speech was quite nice at the gravesite.

The Expendables 2 is by far the best of the franchise so far, and while I can’t begin to claim that it was actually good, I giggled so much I need to give it points for the feel good factor it was responsible for.

July 6, 2015July 5, 2015 by Natasha Categories: Movies, ReviewsTags: action, Arnold Swarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Jean Claude Van Damme, Liam Hemsworth, Movies, Reviews, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables, The Expendables II 10 Comments

Marvelous Mondays: Elektra 2005 by the IPC

Once again, another Monday is upon us. I am here to make it happy for you by posting a review of Elektra, produced by Pappy, who blogs over at the IPC.  Pappy (or Eric, he has many names), has the funniest blog I have ever stumbled across. He hosts Shitfest about four times a year, and if you are interested in doing a most fun blogathon, I suggest you keep your little eyes open for the next opportunity. Thanks for participating Pappy!!!

Here’s the deal with me and this movie. When Daredevil came out back in the day I was REALLY out on Ben AFFLACK and refused to go see it (I still haven’t but I actually like the guy now). So when this came out, I read all of the bad things everyone had to say about it and didn’t feel like giving it a shot in case AFFLACK and his shit-eating face showed up. So, when Kidney announced this run and I looked at the list, I thought, “Hey, why not?? We could have something here for the next shitfest!” and gave it a look.

For those of you that don’t know me, I look at a lot of shitty movies. It’s what I’ve done my whole life.  I would always walk to the video store and just rent whatever was new. I’ve also never been a real big fan of mainstream movies, for the most part. I like to find little films that no one else has ever seen and they’re my little secret. All of this is to put something in perspective – I watch a LOT of bad movies. Movies that are so bad they hurt.  I’m also not one of those people that ONLY watch things I’m going to like and give everything a 4 out of 5 or a nine out of ten.  So, when I tell you that I thought this movie was pretty OK, and you return with “WHAT THE FUCK ISAACS YOU IDIOT!!!!!” I challenge you to watch something like GREEN RIVER or THE LEGEND OF SORROW CREEK or CLOSETS and then come back and tell me how much Elektra sucks.

This isn’t a GREAT movie or anything, but after hearing so much negativity about it, I have to ask – what were the haters expecting? I don’t really know dick about the character from the comics – for some reason I thought she was Russian but I could be confusing her with someone else, Daredevil was never my favorite.  I thought Garner did a good job as the character. She seemed to be no nonsense and wasn’t acting up like some ham or something. I thought SOME of the fight scenes were done pretty well and, despite some dodginess in the last big battle, I was surprised at how much I didn’t hate it.

Now, I’m not recommending anyone to drop everything they’re doing, pull up their pants and run out to the fucking store to buy it, but it certainly wasn’t THAT bad. In fact, if you’re going to give this a go, I suggest you have an appetizer of DIMPLES, ROGUE RIVER or ROOM 33. Then watch Elektra. Then let’s go have a beer. Or nineteen. THANKS KIDNEY!!!!

THANKS PAPPY!!!

PS: If you are interested, see the list here and get back to me!

October 13, 2014October 12, 2014 by Natasha Categories: Movies, ReviewsTags: action, Elektra, Jennifer Garner, marvel, Marvelous Mondays, Monday, Movies, Reviews, superheroes 23 Comments