#100HAPPYDAYS ROUND 2: DAYS 41-50

Happy Monday Everyone!

I’m way behind with posting these… I am now almost at day 75 as I am scheduling this, which is great as it means I am very likely to finish this round too. Let me know how you’ve been in the comments and if you are doing something similar 🙂

41

Day 41: I went to a Singles Event where you had to choose four words that would ruin a date. Some people were really creative, and some just pulled things off the internet. The event itself was hosted in a section of a trendy bar, but felt a bit crowded. The people were also really just focused on winning the game instead of getting to know each other, which is the whole point of the exercise. I really doubt whether these events actually succeed in hooking people up, but it is a great exercise to becoming more outgoing and actually speaking to strangers.

42

Day 42: I really adore this Lovisa necklace my sister gave me for my birthday. It is just so pretty. I have a slight Lovisa problem.

43

Day 43: This is literally just a screenshot of my WordPress calendar showing that I had shit scheduled throughout the month. Definitely doing it this month too, it makes life really easier.

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Day 44: Anyone who has successfully dieted will tell you that if you fail to prepare, you should prepare to fail. I nearly failed the one day after I forgot to pack lunch. My colleague saved me with this yogurt, apple and walnut salad, which was pretty delicious.

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Day 45: I really love this pretty pink Sorbet nail polish titled Pink Cheeks – it can’t be more appropriately labeled.

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Day 46: One small cheat with a Woolworths Marshmallow egg. I am not a marshmallow person, they are generally too sweet and sticky for me, but I do like the Woolies ones, they are superior quality.

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Day 47: I went to the SA on Tap festival with a friend. I’m really not a beer person, so this was quite enlightening. I also saw some other people I know, which was good – being seen with a guy always ups the street cred, so no complaints from this side

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Day 48: This post, which I thought was just the lazy and basic pic of my breakfast and dinner, got a huge amount of likes (yes – 52 likes are huge for me!). I was so pleased.

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Day 49: I’ve been laughing myself silly at 2 Broke Girls recently. I wasn’t a big fan of Season 3, but seasons four and five seem to have gone back to their roots and it worked really well.

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Day 50: I go batshit crazy at work if I don’t have hand cream readily available. Something in the hand soap here makes my hands so dry, and without cream I want to scratch all the time. I’ve stopped buying creams now as I have so many unused ones at home, like this one. While I’m not the biggest fan of lavender, I did like this cream. Which reminds me that it is nearly done and I should bring another one tomorrow.

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You’ve been Tinderised

Tinder-logo

For as long as the earth has been revolving on its’ axis, human beings have been concerned with the survival of their species. Make fire, hunt for food, breathe in oxygen, and find someone to reproduce offspring with. As centuries have gone by we have refined how we do it, but we are still trying to achieve the same goals as our cave dwelling ancestors were. It might have become a bit classier (OR HAS IT?) but at the end of the day the hunt remains the same.

Men have thankfully changed their tactic from dragging females, or whichever gender they prefer, by the hair to the caves to sending text messages. I’m not sure but I think it might be an improvement. I honestly sometimes wonder if men were as crude in handwritten letters as they are in text messages?(Guys, don’t comment at the end of this with the usual “that is an unfair generalization” in the tone of a two year old – just replace “man” with “woman” whenever you want to).

The dating scene has changed radically. The way we approach each other is so different. It is sad, because old school courting has a certain level of appeal than meeting up in a club simply does not possess. Sure, females are more enlightened (YES and IMPORTANT) but it really feels like the men have just given up – and yes, I can predict the amount of flak I’m going to get for some of the things I’m bitching about in here.

To make things easier, modern humans are able to do online dating. The stigma that has always been associated with it is gone, people freely share their stories and are only too happy to tell you if they’ve met their partner through a dating site, clearly implying that you might also be just as lucky to meet someone.

Here is what they don’t tell you. They tell you that it is completely okay to be on a dating website, and it is, but they omit how incredibly awkward things can get. It is a weird business, this online dating.

I’ve been on Tinder for a couple of months now and I’m still a bit freaked by it all. Tinder is a pretty decent site from what I’ve been told of other sites. Let’s just say that makes me worry about the other sites.

The Tinder rules are easy – aswipe to the left is a no and a swipe to the right is yes. Very simple. But not so simple. Are you being too picky? Are you being not picky enough? What’s the benchmark? I usually swipe right if I know I’ll check you out in real life too. Because call me superficial, but physical attraction is a real thing and it needs to be factored in.

The categories of the Tinder men:

  • The pervert. Yes. Let’s start with you. You first start your messages with “Hey Sexy”. I bet it took you fifty years to think of that one. You then proceed to be overly sexual and disgusting. Is a bit of decency too much to ask? Where is your mother? Does she know what you say to women? You usually then proceed to go all John Wayne Gacey and I’m convinced you are standing outside my window, happily stroking… your moustache. I swear if I hear the question “What do you wear under a lab coat?” one more time, I might get an aneurysm. What do you think? That I’m nude? Bitch, I’m layering as much as clothes possible between me and resistant bacterial strains. And Mr. Sandton, thank you for texting me “DTF?, I’m at the Hilton”, because I Googled that shit and I now even know what DTF means.
  • Mr. Aggressive. Clearly someone kept all the wrong things from the Neanderthal because you still think that women like being “threatened”. If you say “you will listen to me”; “you MUST talk to me” and “so you think you can ignore me” before we’ve even met, brother, you done.
  • I’m so damaged: Oh this one has either been hurt by a girl, his family or his coworkers, but the need for a mother figure is very strong in his life.
  • The “I’m actually really really cool” guy with sunglasses in most of his pictures. If you so cool, why are you still single?
  • Mr. Desperado We are all looking for someone here, but don’t do WHAT DO YOU WANT IN A MAN or WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM TINDER in .45 seconds from our first contact. Also, don’t even try “I love you” when we haven’t even met. What is WRONG with you?
  • The one with the cheesy status:Literally saw this one: “I was watching an ad the other day of a couple and realized that is what I want for me” WTFFFFF
  • THE ONE WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you?!?!?!!?

So, is it even worth it?

I really think it is. Despite the 50 totally useless scumbags, there are a few guys that appear relatively decent. Some of the guys I’ve been speaking to for a while has impressed me because I really thought that some of them were duds and they proved me wrong. Not everyone you are sure you will like will be likeable but not everyone that you thought would suck will turn out sucky. The point is, you have to try. If you are like me and not a social butterfly in large crowds, you need an avenue where you can let people see who you are without having to actual talking. It takes some courage and a lot of sense, but you can do it.

What Tinder has taught me:

It is okay to have rules and boundaries. Why are women conditioned in society to automatically doubt their sixth sense about creeps? I’ve realized that if he sounds creepy, walk away, because he probably really is creepy.

You can say no. Repeat after me: “NO”. There we go!

It can be soothing on a really superficial level. SIXTY men liked my profile in the last hour? GO ME, GO ME, GO ME.

I can stand up for myself. This surprised me. I will share the full story at a later stage, but this one incident of declaring that no-one treats me in a certain way was one of the best moments in my entire life.

Some rules:

If you like the person, move them over to Whatsapp. It is much easier to talk to people there.

Trust your intuition. Believe me, it’s rarely wrong. If the guy seems off, he usually is.

However, don’t be overly paranoid. Tinder is based on Facebook profiles and while I don’t claim that Facebook only has respectable users, it does add a bit of authenticity. But like I said, use that very powerful gut feeling on when to walk away and when to stay and take a chance.

There will be a lot of failed conversations, ignored messages, inappropriate content. Just remember your barriers and keep your chin up. Believe me, there will always be some other guy.

Eventually you must meet in person. Because virtual relationships aren’t real, so go out, meet the guy, be awkward and learn how to go on dates. That is the whole point of things, isn’t it?

Some tips:

Be yourself. No use pretending, ensnaring the man with your imaginary wiles and then you aren’t the cool chick you pretended to be.

Make conversation, not polite howdy do’s. Be your fun loving self and be honest. Volunteer information and keep the conversation ongoing. Check for mutual likes or dislikes and figure out what you have in common. Lately I don’t even enter the “Hey, WUD” stuff, because 1) if you can’t type out What Are You Doing you obviously don’t have the time to talk to me and 2) I’d much rather prefer to talk to someone that makes me laugh with an obviously designed pickup line. Duh.

So give me some feedback here below! I would love to hear if you’ve been on Tinder and what your opinion is on it.

Weekend 11-14 October 2013

weekend

Friday

Friday night I babysat my friend’s daughter. She is six months old, and an absolute sweetheart. I am sure that she is the sweetest, most well behaved baby on this planet. She may be the reason that will convince me to have one of my own one day. Sneaky little thing, I tell you.

Saturday

Saturday we went to Gilroy’s brewery. It had the most wonderful atmosphere. The place was packed, and it was enormous fun. It is sadly too far away to go frequently.

I am really enjoying summer. The weather has been great – it is not scorching yet.

Watching

My new obsession at the moment is Friends. I am now at season two. I have seen bits over the years, but have never made a real effort to follow it. It is so amusing.

FRIENDS(SEASON_2)

Reading

mead_va_series

The Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. It is good, but I find myself vacantly staring into space sometimes. Perhaps it is one of those books who would have been great had it been better edited. Finished the second book last night, Frostbite, and took out Shadow Kiss to start on if I have time today.

Eating and Exercising

I have mostly gotten my outrageous need for food under control. Mostly. Some people tell me it is the heat; some tell me it is the frequent exercise. But the truth is, I need to plan my meals better then I won’t be hungry all the time. Starting today, I am eating better, and keeping up with the exercise, which is going great.

Studying

Exams are getting close – my first one is the 1st of November. It is chemistry, so I am stressing and studying to the maximum. I try to put in at least an hour each night, and have so far been {mostly} successful.

Irritating

Men. In general. I’m sorry, but dating and relationships are just frustrating. Contemplated giving it up permanently, then remembered that I don’t want to be old with fifty cats and a bad attitude (I already have a bad attitude, just scared of the fifty cats)

Religion

Not a huge blogger on religion, but I have thinking about all the different types and what it means a whole lot lately. Am told that it is normal with my current age to question everything. So at least I am normal in the sense that I question everything. Will let you know my conclusions.

Charlie Hunnam is not Christian Grey anymore

He dropped out. I am happy because I love that man, and I loathe those books. Yes, Charles, you do not want to lose your badass persona from Sons of Anarchy because of this. No, you don’t

Block

Not feeling the writing bug today, which is weird since I had it the past two weeks.

Nearly voting time

In South-Africa, we vote around April. A relatively new democracy, SA hosts a bunch of the most ridiculous political parties you can imagine. The latest one now is the EFF, started by the suspended ANC youth league president Julius Malema. I cannot accurately describe the antagonism I feel towards this man. I have very ugly thoughts about him and his ideas. Read about the joke of the DECADE here.

To sound off, here is a motivational pic, because we all need it on a Monday.

Peace

(image source)