The Iconic Book Scene – Mailman by the IPC

 

For today’s book scene, please help me welcome my sweet pappy Eric who blogs over at the IPC. If you haven’t ever visited his site, I don’t really know what to even say to you, except that you have been totally missing out. Go say hello over there and see what he is up to. Thanks, dear Pappy! (and his scene and discussion below)

Mailman 2003 J. Robert Lennon

I found an excerpt from this book in some periodical I was reading ten years ago and liked it so much I decided to order it. For those of you that know me, me interests and actions can be a little “off” because I hate mainstream shit – and this book was RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! Mailman is a little off in his world and I absolutely identified with him in almost every way; this is easily one of my favorite books. As we come to the end of the thing, Mailman looks to his travelling companion and says the following – which sums up exactly how I’ve tried to live my entire life:

mailman

 

Marvelous Mondays: Ghost Rider by the IPC

marvel-logo-wallpaper

Happy Monday, beauties!

For today’s MM post we have my favorite Pappy reviewing Ghost Rider for us!! Thank you for taking the time to do this Pappy! I especially love the art drawing!!

….

The other day I was sitting in my office, minding my own business, contemplating the season and all of that shit when Natasha busted into my room like she owned the place, stood on my guest chair and slapped me on the head. “Work harder!! Work faster!!” she screamed and ran out of the room, slamming the door. Puzzled and confused,  I gave some thought to the abuse I had just taken and remembered that I owed her a piece on the terrible movie GHOST RIDER that I volunteered for.

The first thing that comes to mind about this piece of shit is that it holds the label of “the only movie I have ever watched on a pirate website” back in 2007. My friend had just moved back to town and we would spend many weekend nights smoking weed and drinking tequila and watching shitty movies. One night he came over and had a login to some site I can’t remember and we watched this on the computer. It was absolutely miserable footage from the movie theater. People were eating and slurping drinks and people kept getting up and walking through the rows… it was totally stupid and I never felt like trying it again.

Anyway, I got this on DVD from Netflix a week or so ago and gave it a watch and it was still terrible and stupid and shitty and I totally hated it. The second thing that comes to mind about this putrescence is “what the fuck is Peter Fonda doing in this shit”?????

NGR2

The third thing I think of is “what the fuck is Eva Mendes doing in this shit??” I don’t even think she knows….

NGR3

The fourth thing about this is “what the fuck is this fucking shit?????”

NGR4

Nic Cage plays a motorcycle stunt driver who sold his soul to the devil when he was a kid to save his dad’s life (who dies the next day). Some odd years later the devil comes back and makes him go look for Wes Bentley. Along the way he destroys water and dirt and there’s a cowboy Ghost Rider and Rebel Wilson is in it and he gives the cops the finger and I’m surprised he didn’t take down his pants and moon everyone. In fact, how about this graphic?

NGR5

HAHAHAHA That drawing will make you millions, Kidney!!!

Back to the movie – HMMMMMM this movie sucked it. I think this best sums it up:

NGR1

Anyway – I can’t really think of any good reason to recommend this movie unless you’re a HUGE Cage fan – he hams it up pretty good. In any case, YAY!! I got my assignment done!!! WOO HOOO!!! Look how happy my secretary is!!!

NGR6

Thanks Kidney!!!

Marvelous Mondays: Man-Thing by The IPC

WOOHOOO!!!!

Today I have the pleasure of hosting my favorite IPC with his second Marvelous Mondays post. You can check his first review (of Elektra), here. Pappy, thanks so much for taking part, but after thorough review of secretary’s behavior, firing can not happen due to a number of reasons BUT: #pappyComeBack

MT1

When Natasha’s agents first called my people to see if I would be interested in meeting her to do a piece about the movie Man-Thing, I was hesitant. Not because I was afraid of Natasha (she’s actually very sweet) (and short) but because I didn’t want her agency to have to shell out all of that money to fly me over there and then I turn into a pumpkin because I don’t know anything about the movie or the character. I didn’t ever really read those when I was a kid because he didn’t appeal to me but I do remember him looking like this:

MT2

I remember not caring about his Environmentalist Hippie bullshit subtext and having someone teach me a lesson about preserving the ecology and being green and toxic shit and all of that, but I did buy the first one – as a collector – and read the first two and soon he was travelling to other dimensions and stuff that I didn’t care about so I quit reading:

MT3

Anyway, I did the usual thing and prophesied my future by reading tea leaves and chicken bones and made the decision to commit to the travel and agreed. While I was recuperating from the rounds of VERY painful inoculations (vomiting, aches, constant pooping – you know) I gave this a watch and have to admit that it’s really pretty fucking terrible and I hated almost every second of it. You know – I’m not going to rag on the acting but from the opening scene, before I went and looked it up, I could immediately tell these were foreign people doing deep south American accents à and they were doing them very badly. Giving it a look…. yep:

MT5

Have you ever been to the deep south of America? Well – I have and some of those assholes really are as hard to understand as Boomhauer from King of the Hill. But I pressed on because I had signed a contract and kept listening to these people bruise and destroy the English language and, aside from general malaise and a lingering side effect from my shots, I did not enjoy any of it whatsoever and it made for a miserable companion on my 20 hour flight to South Africa. Eventually the movie got to the part where it was going to do its Money Shot all over the place and show us the Man-Thing and this is what we got:

MT4

What the fuck? That’s worse than what we got in Pumpkinhead 3 and 4. Really? I just sat through an hour of this:

MT6

For that? No thanks, you Australian bastards. UGH. And, for real, this is how this shit went. Some Australian guy is being pontooned down a river by a toothless hillbilly. “Why’s  you heah??” Asks the toothless dude. “To get away from it all” says the city slicker. Psych, turns out he’s the new sheriff. K. In his first minutes on the job he gets a call and has to go shut down a protest at the local power plant. When he gets there, he gets on his loudspeaker and tells everyone to go home or he’ll have to issue some arrests and the leader of the group – a blond with a terrible attempt at an American accent – says no and kicks him in his balls. Somehow – about thirty minutes later they are in:

MT7

And are kissing and crying all over the place and hunting down a psychotic American Indian in the swamps, trying to avoid the gigantic Man-Thing. This movie was absolutely miserable and Marvel should be ashamed of itself for having been a part of this but the most important thing to take out of this adventure of mine was that when I got to Natasha’s office, her receptionist:

MT8

Was quick to point out this particular sign on the wall:

mt11

I thought that was pretty weird since that’s not typical office behavior here in the States, but I signed in anyway – as a guest – and sat down in the reception area. It seemed like it had been a few hours that I sat there playing Kingdom Rush: Origins on my iPad before her personal Admin:

MT10

Emerged from her office and politely told me that Natasha was “Occupied for the rest of the week”:

MT12

And that I should “return to where I came from”. I wasn’t hurt or offended so much as I was aggravated that I had to get back on a fucking airplane for another twenty hours so, after the secretary had excused herself, I turned to the receptionist and:

MT9

excused myself.

And there you have it!! The world’s FIRST EVER review of Man-Thing that devolves into fart lighting!! Seen right here on Life of this City Girl!

Thanks dear Pappy!!

PS: If you are still interested in reviewing something for this blogathon, see the list here and drop me a line. (If you’ve already chosen one and it isn’t marked with a strikethrough on the list, let me know to do my job and update the list!)