Best Films of 2015: 11-20

best of 2015

  1. Fifty Shades of Grey

Original rating: 6/10

Does it still hold? It might eventually fall to a 5.5

You are all right now: fuck this, not reading this shit. It gets better. Let’s focus on that this film, while being terrible, was not as bad as it could have been.

What I liked: Dakota Johnson did her best and she’s the best part of the film. The score was also really well done and is the only other saving grace in the film.

What I didn’t like: The line is LONG here. Jamie Dornan has no charisma on screen, he looked so freaked out to touch Johnson and he was frigid. Then the directing didn’t help things along either, sack that director. You can go read the list of complaints by clicking on the link above though, because I can’t remember everything that annoyed me, but I will mention that movie remains a movie about the glorification of abuse.

 San Andreash

  1. San Andreas

Original rating: 6/10

Does it still hold? It might eventually edge up to a 6.5

What I liked:

Dwayne Johnson and his type cast roles work well because Dwayne Johnson is excellently type casted. He is so big and brawny but with a nice guy attitude that he works exceptionally well as a hero. A really big one.

AllesandraDaddario. I really enjoyed her in here and she was such a strong female character.

What I didn’t like:

It is exactly the same as every other action movie out there. A bit of variation would have made this movie really cool, but it was written in the same formulaic tone that always works, but rarely excites.

 Paper-Towns-Quad-Poster

  1. Paper Towns

Original rating: 6.5/10

Does it still hold? No. Thinking back I enjoyed this less than number 20, so eventually it might drop to a 6.

What I liked: Not too much. Mostly just Cara with-the-difficult-surname’s eyebrows.

What I didn’t like: I’m just too old for these kid movies. Over it. That and Margot Roth Spielman was a terrible character.

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  1. Cinderella

Original rating: 6.5/10

Does it still hold? Yeah

What I liked: My beautiful Robb Stark as Prince Charming. Gosh. Although extremely under-utilized, I also really enjoyed Cate Blanchett as the stepmom. Helena Bonham Carter is always a treat on screen and she didn’t disappoint either.

What I didn’t like: Disney did not change one single thing. It is truly the live version of the animation, and yet if they took another angle I would likely have loved it way more.

 Magic mike xxl

  1. Magic Mike XXL

Original rating: 6.5/10

Does it still hold? Yeah

What I liked: These guys obviously worked much harder at being more original and it came across. The embarrassment threshold a person should possess to sit through this is still very high, but it was quite entertaining.

What I didn’t like: Not much really. The acting was terrible but it certainly wasn’t a prerequisite to the success of the film.

LONGEST-RIDE-QUAD

  1. The Longest Ride

Original rating: 6.5/10

Does it still hold? Eh. Not sure.

What I liked: Brit Robertson, Scott Eastwood, YAY. I liked both characters.

What I didn’t like: The story didn’t mesh very well, was badly told and was boring in a few places. Nicholas Sparks needs to stop making movies for the sake of getting his books made into movies.

 Me earl and the dying girl POSTER

  1. Me, Earl and the Dying Girl

Original Rating: 7.5/10

Does it still hold? It might fall to 7 in the future.

What I liked: The fact that it was about friendship not romance. Since I lost someone to cancer I don’t find movies about cancer interesting at all, I find them distasteful because they are so unrealistic. Yet this movie wasn’t as offensive and managed to be sweet. It has a very indie vibe to it and that worked great as well.

What I didn’t like: It felt a bit long. That’s mostly all that I recall in hindsight.

 The Mockingjay Poster

  1. Mockingjay Part II

Original rating: 7.5/10

Does it still hold? Eh. Not sure. It was good though.

What I liked: the slightly altered ending made Katniss seem like a much nicer person, the fact that they kept to all those deaths that occur in the book because some of them were hard to include and the feeling of how everything in Panem is at an end – the film had a great somber tone going for it.

What I didn’t like: The film loses track with some of the characters. I’ll even suggest that they should have included some extra dialogue to take you to where Gale ended up. It is a big mistake in the book and shouldn’t have been taken into the film.

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  1. Pitch Perfect 2

Original rating: 7.5/10

Does it still hold? Yeah. My favorite comedy of the year.

What I liked: The fact that there is a franchise out there that celebrates female friendships and team work as well as being about something that doesn’t have a penis. The hilarity of Fat Amy and her antics, the ridiculousness of the acapella wars and everything that accompanies it just makes the franchise great.

What I didn’t like: Really not much to complain about here. It worked really well and falls technically into my top ten for the year with that rating.

 Age of Adaline

  1. Age of Adaline

Original rating: 7.5/10

Does it still hold? Maybe an 8

What I liked: It was a genuinely good film and Blake Lively shone. I truly enjoyed her and she was perfectly cast. Michiel Huisman is drop dead gorgeous yummy, and he suited that role of a lover perfectly. The film isn’t for everyone, but it was a great experience for me.

What I didn’t like? I really liked this movie, so there isn’t anything to bitch about right now.

Tune in tomorrow for the top ten!

Movie Review: Magic Mike XXL (2015)

Magic mike xxl

Plot:Three years after Mike bowed out of the stripper life at the top of his game, he and the remaining Kings of Tampa hit the road to Myrtle Beach to put on one last blow-out performance.

Rating: 6.5/10

The thong wearing boys in bandannas are back. Whether we really wanted them to or not, they are and they are humping more than ever. Anyone who labels this franchise as good really shouldn’t be allowed to speak out loud, and I’m guessing they think Fifty Shades of Grey is the best movie of the year, but XXL isn’tthat bad. Sure, brain cells die and straight men won’t watch it no matter how whipped they are, but it can be fun if you take a good dose of humor in. Maybe some wine as well, as Andie MacDowell’s character discovered.

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I will go as far as to say that XXL is slightly better than the first movie. It works hard for some humor, and although the delivery is terrible in places, it was cute. The cheese is nearly as bad as The Expendables franchise, and I cringed in some places. Most of it comes from Joe Manganiello, who talks ALL THE TIME. I’m not sure why they upgraded him from all that grunting in the first movie. He’s the type of guy who just needs to grunt and girls are going to be happy. With plenty of references to his extra-large… package… and extremely corny lines, this guy is all over the place. I mean: “you want to pop the hood” is an actual line in here. Priceless. I’m not overly surprised how bad it all goes down as his main claim to fame is being Alcide Herveaux in True Blood. Matt Bomer gets time on the screen too, some character lines, which was nice – he is one of the few in here who has acting skills. He also looks like Prince Charming. Gorgeous.

Then there is the delightful Channing Tatum, a man with so much charm and boyish good looks he can do anything and make it work. He seemed a bit bored with this movie, but he was cute and entertaining all the same.

Then there is the fairly large female ensemble cast – starting with Amber Heard who made a much better lead female character than the very irritating Brooke in the original Magic Mike. Heard, who plays Zoe, is really not annoying, and that is just great. Her role in here is murky since there is no involvement between her and Mike. She’s just a girl who is charmed by Magic Mike, but no sexy sexy apparently. Which turned out fine – I really hope all women out there get that male strippers are not there to love you.

Jada Pinkett Smith also has a role as a sexy lady with lots of money who helps out Mike and his friends when they need it. Then there is Andie MacDowell who just really made me cringe with her stereotypical older wine loving mama. Elizabeth Banks also does a surprise pop-up, which I don’t really understand but rolled with it.

Anyway, don’t watch it if you are a straight male, or a female that takes offense quickly. It is hilarious though, embarrassing and perfect for a girl’s night full of silliness. No one ever got hurt by looking at gorgeous male bodies, did they?

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PS: Maybe just their dignity.