Movie Review: Winter’s Tale (2014)

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Plot: A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her

Rating: 4/10

Well. This seems to be the worst rating I’ve ever assigned to a movie. Ever. I think I rated Grown-Ups 2 higher than this. A Winter’s Tale is NOT as offensive as Adam Sandler’s face, but this movie was so boring that I could crochet nonstop and easily get the gist of the movie. I could probably write a thesis on nuclear physics while watching this – A Winter’s Tale requires no more brain power than picking up a pencil. For a story that first focuses on an epic and pure love and then switches over to modern society to save a child with cancer, it lacked so much heart. The movie might have derailed with the introduction of a white flying horse, but might have been the second Russel Crowe was cast as a demon.

I’ve never in my life seen Crowe in such a bad role. He was atrocious. If that is his way of being a supernatural character he needs to steer clear, eternally. The actors seemed exhausted and bored by the monotony of the film and the ridiculous dialogue. I hope Jessica Brown Findlay thoroughly remorse her decision to leave Downton Abbey – you left them to star in this?!

It was nice to see Colin Farrell in something again – didn’t he venture into the whole “I achieved success and now I will be a drug addict” route? Anyway, I used to think he was quite hot. With the haircut he wears in here as Peter Lake, he looks like a grown man with an emo child haircut. His acting wasn’t that bad – he did the best he could in his main role with the dialogue he had. There was genuine chemistry between him and Findlay and if you completely ignore the dialogue passing between them, it would have been really nice.

I’ve mentioned Crowe as the leading villain, but this also had Will Smith as Lucifer. Is WS busy trying to get into some fantasy? I see he is definitely dipping his finger into the super popular superhero pie – did you see the trailer of Suicide Squad yet?? It’s cool, I think it will work. Smith was the best thing about the movie and I think if he was cast as the main villain things might have gone better. Crowe had no conviction in his villainy and seemed as this movie was below his true capabilities – it is, but that is beside the point.

Apart from the dialogue, the way the story progressed was confusing. The first part ends so abruptly and the second part is so ineptly introduced that you have no clue what is happening or why you are even seeing it.

Then, can we just discuss how many times Peter Lake was referred to as PETER LAKE? Not Peter, not Lake, nope, the full thing: “PETER LAKE”. Does he only respond to his full name and surname? What a weird guy.

I don’t think this movie ever had a chance. The story is stupid, the cast was confused and the white flying horse was just a bit too much. Really, go buy a Unicorn and be done with it.

Movie Review: Noah (2014)

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Noah: Fire consumes all. Water cleanses. It separates the foul from the pure. The wicked from the innocent. And that which sinks from that which rises. He destroys all, but only to start again.

Plot synopsis: A man is chosen by his world’s creator to undertake a momentous mission before an apocalyptic flood cleanses the world. via IMDb

Rating: 6/10

In possibly the worst book adaption of the century, Russell Crowe stars as Noah, the iconic Ark building Biblical character. He is moody, prone to bitching and sulking, and thus I’ve deduced that Crowe merely imitated his own personality for this. Jennifer Connelly and Emma Watson are also in here, and both are fine but it is clearly either’s best work. The shots where all the animals lie sleeping looked awfully fake, and I thought it was simply silly a few times. Anthony Hopkins is some sort of magical elder that cures Emma of her infertility, and I think he is left to drown, and I found that sad because he was so nice and all.

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I did like that Noah was portrayed as a human being. He isn’t a saint who never got mad, he was flawed and human and insecure. Noah’s eldest son was fine and I got why Emma had such a thing for him always, but I still felt sorry for the other son who had to leave behind his lady friend, once again to drown.

Basically, the movie is too long, and so different from the original version I don’t know who the target audience was – if not made for believers this movie doesn’t have enough weight to be considered good enough for other audiences. It is too long and too shabbily put together to be really impressive.

Movie Review: Man of Steel (2013)

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The planet Kryton faces extinction when its core becomes unstable, after years of abuse of natural sources. General Zod (Michael Shannon) disposes of its council, and scientist Jor-El (Russel Crowe) and his wife Lara send their son, Kal-El, the only natural born in centuries, to earth, infusing his cells with the genetic codex of the entire Kryptonian race, making him their hope for future generations. Zod and his followers are sent to the Phantom Zone after he murders Jor-El, but after Krypton explodes, they are freed and can start hunting for Kal-El.

Meanwhile, Kal-El has been raised in Kansas as Clark Kent, by Jonathan and Martha Kent. Clark has developed superhuman abilities, because of his Kryptonian physiology compared to Earth’s. He gradually learns to harness his abilities, but never fully reveals himself as his father taught him the danger of exposure.

Daily Planet journalist Lois Lane systematically searches for Clark after he saves her life. She goes on the distinctive trail he has left during his lifetime, and eventually finds him even though he went through a lot of trouble to protect his identity. When she demands the truth, he shares it with her, eventually making her see the truth in his father’s plea for secrecy.

When Zod finds that Kal-El is on Earth, he demands that Clark is handed over to him, or he will attack Earth. The FBI arrests Lois when they learn that she knows exactly who Clark is and where he hides, but Clark hands himself over to them to ensure her safety. Now the questions are: Is Zod as evil as we think he is, and will Clark manage to save planet Earth?

Cast members:

Henry Cavill as Clark Kent/ Kal-El

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I cannot describe how well this man fits into his role. It was simply outstanding. He portrays Clark Kent, from his Kansas roots to his alien parentage to perfection. He is such a sad, sad character. He manages to show how alone Superman really is, even though his earthly parents always loved him. Not only is he ridiculously good looking (it had to be mentioned and appreciated); his looks are so typically Superman that during a few scenes I thought he looked quite like Tom Welling. It is a rare occurrence that a character can be this well cast.

Amy Adams as Lois Lane

To me, Lois had always embodied a feministic, outgoing and slightly aggressive spirit. In Man of Steel, Amy Adams portrayed a more vulnerable persona. For Ms. Adams it was quite a good acting stint, as she usually is rather good in every role she does, but to me she wasn’t what I thought Lois should be. Any opinions on her portrayal? Please share in the comment section!

Michael Shannon as General Zod

Fantastic portrayal! He is such a formidable enemy. I was incredibly impressed by him. He really became a pain in Superman’s ass, as a good villain should. I felt sorry for him at the end, since his genetic programming limited him to think of the human race’s survival.

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Russel Crowe as Jor-El

Russel Crowe is always awesome, and his portrayal as Jor-El was no exception. His love for his son is so obvious, yet he offers up Cal-El to save their race. He managed to be both father and warrior and scientist, and really impressed me (again).

Rating: 8/10

I really enjoyed this movie, and found it one of the best cinematic experiences for the year. I have previously expressed how much I enjoy Superhero movies, but let’s face it: not all Superheroes were created equal. I expected Man of Steel to be as funny as Avengers, but it was not. That is not a bad thing – in the end I enjoyed it because it was slightly more depressing. It steers more to the Dark Knight oeuvre, which makes logical sense (DC-sense that is) and also, it would be completely unrealistic for a man to be incredibly happy if he was the last of his race to survive. I would really recommend this movie to everyone. It is worth every penny spent.