Movie Review: Underwold Bloodwars (2016)

underworld

Plot:Vampire death dealer, Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.

Although my fondness for the franchise has not dimmed in the least, the last two Underworld films have been really bad compared to the previous three. It feels like they story has veered far off from what the original was about. Bloodwars does not mention what happened in Awakening. Apparently the human race conveniently forgot that vampires and lycans exist and just happily ceased the war that they subsequently raged on them. Seline’s daughter was spirited away by executive producers for no other reason. There are some strange new vampires that have been to the other side. Seline soon joins them and gains delightful highlights. It seems like the writers are desperately trying to replace Scott Speedman with Theo James. I’ve said it in my review of Awakening too, so please note that Theo James, for all his deliciousness, isn’t the character we want to end up with Seline. There is no one for her but Michael, and whatever issues the directors have with Scott Speedman better be resolved before the next film because no one believes the easy copout they sicced on us. I enjoy his inclusion as David, but really, give me my Michael back. Tobias Menzies as Marcus was okay. He provided the necessary antagonist, but was he really convincing? The character isn’t developed or explored. He has a terrible backstory, similar to Michael and Lucian, but he isn’t properly introduced and felt like an empty antagonist by the end of it.

Underworld Bloodwars is the sloppiest of the franchise, with bad writing and heartless performances. It certainly isn’t my favorite of the bunch, and I do hope that when the sixth film gets the light they will have a story to tell again.

Rating: 5.5/10

Underworld-blood-wars

Movie Review: Underworld Evolution (2006)

UE1

Plot:Picking up directly from the previous film, vampire warrior Selene and the half werewolf Michael hunt for clues to reveal the history of their races and the war between them.

When films like Evolution gets hated on online I am always quite surprised. This said trashed film and it isn’t nearly as horrible as it is made out to be. The entire Underworld franchise is garbage rated on both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes, but here’s the kicker: it’s actually not that cheesy, it is quite dark and violent and the history between the lycans and vampires are well thought out. Is there some sort of secret society in the entertainment industry that decides to trash things for reasons unknown? Oh wait, that’s the Academy right?

Continuing immediately after the events in Underworld, Seline and Michael narrowly escape after her killing the vampire elder Viktor (Bill Nighy). Seline hopes by awakening Viktor’s brother and last remaining vampire elder Marcus (Tony Curran), she will be able to save her life and Michael’s life. But even though Marcus and Viktor have a long line of dispute between them, Marcus is furious to find his brother dead and sets out on his path of retribution. He is terrifying as some sort of hybrid, and they have a dangerous road to survival set out to them. A whole lot of other things also occur and in it is more insight into the lycan and vampire history.

UE2

Evolution remains dark, sexy and violent. It is not so much different from the first film. We are still following the gorgeous Seline and the gorgeous Michael, and we are treated to some sexy time between them. It was a little risqué, much more than the usual amount generally applied in mainstream films, but it continues to suit the tone of the series and stops just short of being icky.

More history is given about both species and I enjoyed that. I’m not sure whether there was a real point to bring in a father figure of Markus and Viktor and explaining all that sordid history, but at least it ultimately makes Seline able to walk in the sun.

At the end of the film all I wanted is Michael and Seline to be together and safe. That wish is mostly granted. It still ends with some depressing voice overs, but for the most part we are left with our favorite couple in a relatively safe future.

UE3

Underworld Evolution is enjoyable, gritty, oddly romantic and with a lot of sexy Undertones. I’d give my left pinky toe to be built like Seline, and I wouldn’t mind dating Michael either, hybrid or not.

Rating: 7/10

Movie Review: What We Do in The Shadows (2014)

What_We_Do_in_the_Shadows_poster

Plot: Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav are vampires who are finding that modern life has them struggling with the mundane – like paying rent, keeping up with the chore wheel, trying to get into nightclubs, and overcoming flatmate conflicts.

Rating: 8.5/10

Things I do in watching comedies: sarcastically snort, fondly smile or gallantly chuckle. I never LOL in them (I doubt people laugh out loud as often as the use that abbreviation, but that is another post for another day). My point is: comedies have become too formulaic with humor that they are rarely truly hilarious anymore.

I laughed out loud watching What We do In the Shadows. It is politically incorrect: Vampire Nazis, Vlad the Poker and Viego’s love for Katherine are some of the funniest things I experienced in here. It mocks the hell out of Twilight and I’m pretty sure True Blood with the vampires floating in the air. The New-Zealand accents exacerbate and the fact that we are dealing with vampires, in New Zealand, makes it just funnier. Everyone’s love for Stu but bare tolerance for Nick, swearwolves everywhere and the whole perfection of Vladislav, Viago and Deacon kept me entertained for the hour and a half it ran for. I loved the whole mockumentary style of the movie and how well that told the story.

Some favorite scenes:

Vlad, my favorite vampire of all time:

 vlad

Probably my second favorite scene and one of the greatest laughs in the movie:wearwolves not swearwolves

This one is for Zoë:

internet

And then this: The funnest and craziest phrasing I’ve ever come across… LOL!!sandwich

What We Do In The Shadows is unique, hilarious and worth a try. You will hopefully shake with laughter. Definitely recommended!

what-we-do-in-the-shadows

Book Review: Club Dead (Charlaine Harris)

Club Dead

The telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse is still in a relationship with vampire Bill Compton, although it seems like he is more interested in his current, mysterious project than in her. Bill won’t disclose much of his assignment, but makes sure that Sookieknows that it is a secret to be kept from Eric Northman, the attractive Sheriff of Area Five. Bill eventually announces that he is leaving Bon Temps to finish his assignment, and tellsSookie that if he goes missing she should hide his computer in her house and then place herself under Eric’s protection.

Bill is missing for days, and eventually Pam shows up at Merlotte’s. The vampire is full of information: not only does she share that Bill answered the call of Lorena, his previous girlfriend, another vampire, and she tells Sookie that Bill is now actually among the missing, and that Eric is actively looking for him.

A few days later Eric shows up in Sookie’s house and asks her to go to Mississippi and search for clues about Bill. He promises her protection in the form of AlcideHerveaux, a werewolf whose father owes some money to the vampires.

Alcide is attractive and friendly but he also has some issues to deal with. His ex-girlfriend, Debbie is planning to get engaged at the supernatural club in Jackson that Alcide and Sookie plan to search for information. Sookie pretends to be Alcide’s girlfriend, and that makes Debbie very jealous and Sookie gets a new enemy.

Through some misfortune, a dead werewolf and mind reading, Sookie establishes that Bill is being kept in the King of Mississippi, Russell Edington’s mansion. Sookie manages to get her and Eric entry into the mansion, but can they get Bill out alive? How will Sookie deal with her new fascination with Alcide, not to mention her ongoing attraction to Eric? What is up with Lorena and what will Bill have to say for himself when he is finally free, and need to answer why he left Sookie in the first place?

Rating: 6.5/10

The third book in the series, Club Dead, is as fun and frothy as the other two previous ones. The book is well written and structured, but there were places where scenes were drawn out. So far these reads have been fun, interesting and sexy all at the same time (can I please find a man like that?!)

The fun about these books is that it is nothing like Twilight. I don’t know if these were written before or after Twilight, but these books are original and so different from the Stephanie Meyer ones it is funny. For one, Sookie Stackhouse is definitely able to survive without Bill Compton. She speaks her mind and doesn’t mess with the men she knows she won’t choose over Bill. The vampire lore is much more on par with what has always been said – vampires sleeping during the day in coffins, etc.

The addition of Alcidewas a good idea, and I found his humanity a delightful contrast to the vampire mannerisms. I do find it highly amusing that each man Sookie meets wants to jump into her pants (it feels a bit Elena Gilbert-ish) but I still like her character.

Eric Northman still sounds so delicious and hilarious and cocky (I really need to watch True Blood) and I wish he could be featured more heavily in the books.

I’m still irritated that the vampires need to sleep at day though (or more jealous as I would love to sleep during the day)

This series is highly addicting! I’ve been binge reading for the past two weeks on these books but as I am a super-fast reader and not keen to run out of my current obsession, I am going to start having to pace myself!

Read reviews on book one and two here and here

Book Review: Breaking Dawn (Stephanie Meyer)

breakingdawn

Book: 91/100

Bella Swan is finally marrying Edward Cullen. They made a deal – she would marry him if he turned her into a vampire himself and that they would sleep together before he turned her so that she can experience it all before becoming undead. He reluctantly agrees, sure that she will die in the throes of passion.

On their wedding day, Jacob Black, her best friend, werewolf and third part of their love triangle, shows up to do his duties and be her best man. He is horrified when he realizes Edward and Bella’s plan to make love before she becomes immortal – even though he doesn’t want that to happen, he knows it is much safer with her being a vampire sleeping with a vampire instead of a frail human. They disagree and Jacob flees to the woods.

Edward and Bella goes to Isle Esme for their honeymoon, a place Bella’s new father in-law, Carlisle got for his wife Esme as a present. They sleep together, but Edward is horrified by the bruises he accidentally left on Bella. She is persistent in getting him to make love with her, and in the end she wins, and he does.

When Bella discovers that she, a human, is pregnant with Edward’s child, they both freak out. When she realizes that Edward plans to have Carlisle abort the baby, she calls Rosalie, and the Cullen that always liked her least stands by her.

When Jacob hears that Bella is back, he heads to the Cullen mansion to go check what is happening. He is sure that by now she is a vampire, which is a direct violation of the treaty the Cullens and the Quilettes made ages ago, but he is shocked when he finally realizes what is going on. The fetus is slowly killing Bella, but not only is she determined to carry it to term, she is determined to survive as well.

Jacob decides that he finally has had enough of Bella’s constant infliction of pain on his heart, and leaves. He turns to wolf form and Sam, his pack leader, hears what has happened. He decides that the baby is a danger to Forks and the entire Cullen clan must be killed. Jacob is horrified, splitting from the pack. He warns the Cullens and knows Sam won’t attack with the Cullens waiting for them. Soon after Seth and Leah joins his new pack and the three of them helps guard the Cullens.

Bella goes into labour, and it looks like she is dying. Rosalie takes the baby from them to keep it safe and Jacob follows, intending to kill it. He imprints on the baby, Renesmee, and is unable to do so. Meanwhile, Edward is refusing to let Bella die. He turns her into a vampire by injecting venom straight into her heart.

Three days later, Bella awakens to her new life. Everything is even better than promised, now that she has her beautiful daughter, a best friend who is no longer in love with her, and some super self-control other new borns don’t have that enables her to not kill humans.

Life continues until Irina, part of the Denali clan, shows up. She wishes to make amends for all the drama with Laurent, the vampire who nearly killed Bella and was ultimately taken down by the werewolves. She sees Renesmee and thinks that it is an immortal child, vampire children who had massacred entire villages years before. They are unable to show her the truth and Alice sees her delivering the news to the Volturi, the leaders of all vampires, who have been waiting for something to take out the successful Cullen pack.

With the Volturi heading for them, will Edward and Bella survive the attack? Will they be able to convince them that Renesmee is able to control herself?

Rating: 8/10

I have to say that I really thought that the last installment of the Twilight saga was really well done. It is incredibly well rounded, addressing all the issues from the previous books and not leaving anything unresolved.

Bella was a much more impressive vampire than she ever was a human, and I enjoyed how well she seemed to develop her spine during the book.

It is a hefty read – well over 800 pages, and I questioned my sanity whether it was advisable reading it so close to the end of the challenge. I am glad I did though. It is always entertaining and actually quite well written.

5 Things Friday: Five books I want to read

The Fiery Heart by Richelle Mead

Richelle Mead - The Fiery Heart

The fourth book in the series Bloodlines continues to tell the tale about Alchemist Sydney Sage and her illegal love affair with vampire Adrian Ivashkov.

The series stemmed from the previous Vampire Academy one. I am enjoying this one much more than I did VA. It is really good, and isn’t a copy of Twilight, as many of the latest vampire books have become.

The Fiery Heart is only being release in November 2013, and I can’t wait to read what will happen.

Whiskey Beach by Nora Roberts

whiskey-beach

I have no particular reason for wanting to read this specific book, except that it is by Nora Roberts, and I love all her books. It has been released already, so as soon as possible I will read it.

The Great Gatsby – Francis Scott Fitzgerald

great-gatsby-cover-designs-e1365721277174

I made a promise to my friend to read the book before I watch the movie, to fully appreciate how they stayed true to the script. As I really want to watch the movie, I will read the book really soon. It will be my first book by this author.

A Thousand Splendid Suns – Khaled Hossini

Splendid Suns

From what I’ve heard, Khaled Hossini is a mesmerizing writer. I really want to try this book. It will be my first novel by this author as well, and it may just start an addiction here.

A new Harry Potter novel – I wish

I have been struck with Harry Potter urges because everyone around me is reading it. Pretty sneaky, because I already read it for my blog challenge, and I am not reading seven books that can’t count. However, if someone named JK Rowling wrote a new Harry Potter novel, and it worked out well, I could read that. All my Potter wishes would come true and I could add to my challenge. #HappyWishes