Movie Review: Aquaman (2018)

Aqua poster

Plot: Arthur Curry, the human-born heir to the underwater kingdom of Atlantis, goes on a quest to prevent a war between the worlds of ocean and land.

April is such an exciting month! Avengers Endgame AND Game of Thrones! Yup, I’ve seen the first episode, and it was good, I just can’t see myself reviewing per episode on here. Since I am SO ready for Endgame, I thought I would do a quick post on the only superhero movie I have seen that I haven’t put on here yet, Aquaman (although not even in the same universe, ha).

I saw this in the cinema in December 2018. It got some good reviews and reached the billion dollar club (The club which is not so elite anymore, but anyway). Some people thought this was a great film, and that’s okay. For me it was merely decent and while better than some of the other DC flicks, it still left much to be desired.

rev_1_AMN_JBG_0067r_High_Res_JPEG.0

I love Jason Momoa – he’s marketable, funny, beautiful and impressively big. I am not convinced he’s the best actor on the planet, but at this stage he doesn’t need to be. He chooses this big and gruff roles because it actually looks like that is who he is as a person. He does fine with Stephen Curry, and even though there are moments where he isn’t utterly convincing, he does remain one entertaining man. And even if he was terrible, you still get to see a really big and attractive man wet and built for two hours and 22 minutes. The love story between him and Mera (Amber Heard) felt really forced and unnecessary. A couple of superhero films have done really well by now without some romantic entanglement, and I think this would have survived without that as well.

Nicole Kidman plays Arthur Curry’s mom and the Queen of Atlantis. She’s named Atlanna, just so that no one gets confused who she really is. It’s a role far beneath her acting abilities and she navigates the sea without much issue. If you can believe that she mothered Momoa’s genetics, you can believe anything.

1543919564-aquaman-patrick-wilson

Patrick Wilson plays Curry’s half-brother King Orm. He’s a terrible leader in this movie and also has dealing with the pirates Curry tackles in the beginning of the film. Other than Wilson’s deeply upsetting hairstyle, he does a decent (if one layered) villain. This is a nice setup for a second movie to begin with, which I am sure after a billion dollars no one will hesitate to commit to.

At the core, this origin story is nothing new. The release was well timed, in time for the relaxed holiday viewers. The last battle will leave you feeling exhausted because it is just so stupid and long. It’s really not that bad, just cheesy and silly. I definitely won’t commit to a second viewing, but that isn’t because of the quality – I rarely feel that superhero movies need to be watched twice.

Rating: 6/10

maxresdefault

 

Advertisements

Just What is this Macho Movie doing on my Blog?! The Expendables II (2012)

Expendables2

Plot: Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.

Rating: 6.5/10

The Expendables 2 is this little gift of hilarity that fell straight down from heaven. It is ten times better than the first one.

I really do like Sylvester Stallone. He seems to be a really hardworking and mostly nice guy, he’s been married for a very long time to one lady and he is a living legend who likes to do his stunts on his own (that explains the painful running scenes). I think it’s quite cool that he did a project like this – these old action figures are legends that deserve the same amount of respect and admiration as old rockstars do. It’s a bit creepy, but I really enjoy looking at Sly, especially with that hat on. I think I should go see a psychologist about it though – he’s OLD.

the-expendables-2-2

The Expendables 2 gifts us with seeing Stallone, Willis, Arnie, Van Damme AND Chuck Norris all in one film. I mean, these are the gods of Action. It is also the movie where artificial faces make its case study to be accepted into society – Stallone loses the competition where Arnie and Van Damme were his opponents for extremely odd looks. Van Damme has the weirdest eyes possibly ever and is truly quite terrifying. He seems as hard as nails and that he won’t even feel bad after kicking your ass.

Barney Ross: I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra? Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
Barney Ross: I’ve heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?
Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

We get us some Chuck Norris, complete with sound track and all. I could eventually not stop giggling when he came on screen, he is too much for me to handle. He enters in his signature way, always saving the day and being totally cool about it.

Where the first Expendables failed, the second film improved. The humour in E2 lets you know they are aware they are being cheesy but they are enjoying themselves while doing it. The humour is once again on an astronomical level and the dialogue makes you once again wonder how many retakes there were because the cast could not stop laughing, but this time around the actors are in on your joke and they are playing along. I heard referencing to the Terminator way too many times, and Chuck’s jokes wereso.friggin.lame.

The action sequences are still as unbelievable as it gets but they are slightly shorter and better executed and that makes it all a better use of your time. I am amused rather than sickened by the killing spree – I don’t think most deaths are quite so theatrical as they would like you to believe.

The memo the feminism squad sent out regarding the blatant sexism in E1 reached the right ears: not only are the women less stereotypical in E2 they also get decent parts with actual dialogue and a purpose. I enjoyed Maggie’s presence and how she actually contributed towards the team’s success, although they might want to look into not immediately having the only female ogled by the entire squad. I also enjoyed the females protecting their town, although I did not appreciate the joking that women can’t shoot.

I don’t know what happened to Mickey Rourke this time around (he was basically the only good thing about the first movie), but they offset the loss by adding someone who is also trained in the art of acting – Liam Hemsworth. I think he has enormous potential that hasn’t been brought to light yet by Hollywood. He and Statham are by far the youngest of the team and Hemsworth has the best acting on the screen – the only actor who gets close enough is Bruce Willis, who really is the coolest guy on the earth. I liked Hemsworth’s role – he is from the recent generation of soldiers who have very fresh scars, and he realises that he needs a healthier lifestyle. He seems respectful and sad – really like I imagine the majority of soldiers. His death is an actual blow and the only real emotional thing in the film, and old Sly’s speech was quite nice at the gravesite.

The Expendables 2 is by far the best of the franchise so far, and while I can’t begin to claim that it was actually good, I giggled so much I need to give it points for the feel good factor it was responsible for.